A Blog About An Asian Medical Student. Yes that's redundant.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

A New Year, a Birthday, a Reconnect

A New Year, a Birthday, a Reconnect

aka EVERYONE FORGOT MY BIRTHDAY
aka Not Another Damn Introspective Rant from Poon
aka Yet Another Damn Introspective Rant from Poon

Let it be forever remembered that David Poon is a master of two things:

1) Recognizing great ideas, and
2) Not bothering to act on them.
3) Women
4) Lunacy!

My girlfriend, a half breed from Japan, told me about a tradition they do there. Like us white people do for Christmas, New Year is a time to send letters to the people who matter to you, and who care about you.

I liked the idea, despite the fact that while the list of those in the former category rank in the 100s, those in the later category exist in my imagination.

Or that Japanese Virtual Reality dating simulation I downloaded.

I guess that's why I call my gf 'too good to be true.'

Hah. See? Pun?? Is that a pun???

...

It's been months since I've written anything. I'm a little rusty, not to mention, Asian drunk (read: 2 shots in my birthday martini).

So, to all my fans that I left without inspiration... I'm sorry.

That should appease both of you.

^-_-^

Couple that with the fact that I locked my Facebook wall, changed my Facebook name, and proceeded to not respond to any email, text message, or male flirtatious advance for the past few months (all of which I usually do), and avoided you in the grocery store, it was reasonable that most of you concluded one of the following things:

1) I was in Regina, when you were in Edmonton.
2) I was in Edmonton, where you were in Regina.
3) I got pregnant and went to live with my aunt.
4) I'm a rude bastard who ignores you.
5) Lunacy!

The sad fact is that I finally figured out that instead of talking to people, I could play video games, and well, I stand by my choice.

I forget, is my gf real or a Japanese videogame?

Heh heh, I play both.

Hope she's not reading this. I could get in trouble.

...

So I wanted to, in the New Year, send personal, heartfelt messages to each one of you, to rebuild the shattered relationships I ignored for so long.

A New Year, a new life, a reconnect.

And then I sold my video game collection in preparation.

After which I used the money to buy a new collection.

And then I didn't contact any of you.

While rebuilding my life was an arduous and somewhat impossible task, rebuilding lost relationships required something I simply didn't have:

Someone else who wanted to rebuild that relationship.

Meaningless self deprecation aside, as the weeks post New Year passed, my procrastination got the beter of me, and I didn't call any of you again.

Until a different, Chinese kind of New Year happened.

Then I just forgot.

And despite so many of you emailing, txting, calling... I realized I just wasn't quite ready to say hello again.

And the sad truth is, maybe you forgot about me too.

And I deserved that.

But;

If being rejected by girls has taught me anything...

Other than protecting my face from slaps, perseverance is vital to success.

I had the chance to break a new start of renewing old friendships.

My 25th birthday. Today.

Ever since I was a kid, I would stay up most of the night before my birthday. I remember being in elementary school, pacing alone near my bedroom.

If that sounds sad to you, don't worry - I talked to my teddy bear for advice.

I would spend the night contemplating, considering the big questions - where was my life going, what would I become, Charizard or Blastoise...

In brief, I tried to answer the question of "what did I want?"

Since I was a fat kid, obviously meaning I was grossly unpopular, I wanted friends.

And that's what I'll do.

Though it seems all of you refused to wish me a happy birthday JUST BECAUSE I DISABLED MY FACEBOOK WALL, I know that I wouldn't be anywhere without you, my friends.


I've been doing a 'Reconnect a Day' - that means some of you have been victimized by a phone call, an email, a dinner, or a hang out with me once a day for the past two weeks.

And like that jacket zipper said to my nipple, 

"Don't worry, you'll all get your turn."

However... it's also like I said to my bowels after forgetting to take my Metamucil, 

"Damnit, why don't you just get started?"


So lets reconnect online, till I see you soon.

I suppose my sudden distancing from life could be seen as arbitrary as a Canadian snap election (zing!) so lets start there.

My self imposed silence has admittedly given me a somewhat misconstrued air of rudeness; but after my father was sentenced to two years in prison last summer, I went into hiding. Disabled my Facebook wall, and placed myself in isolation.

Then, as the Faculty of Medicine found out about the Poon Blog, I didn't want to leave myself vulnerable to scrutiny, leaving me open to reprimand particularly under very harsh times. I closed doyoubelieve.ca immediately, despite its rather cathartic appeal to me during hard times. I suppose humour, particularly poorly written humour, isn't always well received. And taking a page from any tip book on how to look professional before a job interview, I changed my Facebook name to my old high school alter ego, 'Aszreal' aka 'Emo Poon' aka 'David Poon wearing black nail polish' aka 'If Snoopy can be Joe Cool, I can be Aszreal'.

This is typically an okay thing to do under the circumstances, except well, I wasn't as okay as I thought I was. I couldn't handle medical school, and disappeared again.

Hiding because I couldn't face very harsh realities was reasonable, if not cowardly.

And hiding from those who want to use information against my best wishes is smart, strategic.

But hiding from those looking out for me, trying desperately to help me...

... hiding from you?

Lunacy.


That means today, on my 25th birthday, I start doyoubelieve.ca again.

And I never forget my friends.

...

So what have I been up to?

I won a prize in a Cosplay (costume play) contest at Animethon. I was a Tetris block. Turns out years of having my life twist, turn, and fall really came in handy.

I gave Aszreal a last name. 'Aszreal JT SMASH' but Facebook wont let me change it because there are too many capital letters.

I learned what being happy meant.

I recommitted to medical school, and will graduate in 2013. Sure, that means I was one of the first of my friends to get into med school, and it also means I will be one of the last to get out.

But I'm happier now.

I found a closeness to family I never had before.

I met a wonderful girl. She's a half breed - all the good looks of a white person combined with the fantastic attention to domestic cleanliness of an Asian person.

The Faculty, as a condition for my reacceptance, had me do a learning assessment, to ensure I don't have any academic issues. 

Turns out I qualify for Mensa. 

And now I've been a member for two months. 

For those of you who don't know what Mensa is, let me tell you, it's NOT what my sister thought it was (the North American Man Boy Love Association). Seriously.

I'm not into men that young.

I'M NOT INTO MEN AT ALL.

I learned to study for the knowledge - not for the marks.

Learned how to file my own income tax.

Gained 30 kilos.

At the advice of my Mommy, got a personal trainer.

Lost 10 kilos.

My girlfriend bought me a scale for Valentines Day.

Lost another 10 kilos and counting.

Met some of my new classmates.

Found some of my old classmates.

Got a job at EB Games for a little while. Some people dream of working at a coffee shop. Used video game store is my coffee shop. And I do mean coffee as a drug.

Started watching LOST...

... and finished watching LOST. All of it. It's incredible.

Had my girlfriend move in with me.

Began writing a musical. It's gonna be totally awesome and reassert how masculine I am. It'll also have lots of dancing.

Fought with a man I consider my brother. Came back together as families never give up.

Got invited back to a business competition. Saw something I started continue. Felt proud of my friends.

Guinness World Records emailed me last week. They are allowing my claim to break a world record. I'll let you know how it goes.

Found out how horrible it is to see your loved one's hometown lost in an earthquake and tsunami.

Found out how beautiful it is to see loved ones survive and endure.

Helped my sister buy a car.

Told my mom I loved her.

Shook my father's hand.

Became a man.

...

I have eschewed my deliberate insistance on refusing to grow up. Finally.

I am 25 now. Though, that doesn't mean I forgo the lessons and traditions of my youth.

Ever since I was a kid, I would stay up most of the night before my birthday. I remember doing it in elementary school, pacing alone near my bedroom.

If that sounds sad to you, don't worry - I still talk to my teddy bear for advice. 

I spent last night contemplating, considering the big questions - where was my life going, what would I become, be thankful or be bitter...

In brief, I tried to answer the question of "what do I want?"

...

I have you. I have my family.

My loved ones. My life.

There's nothing more I want.

See you soon everyone. Looking forward to it.

Miss you too.

- David

4 comments:

  1. Hey Dave. Glad the blog is back! Always makes me laugh. It is nice to hear that you are reconnecting with friends and family... I have been distancing myself from everyone lately, even myself. I'm just like you, when times get tough I close myself off from everyone. Family problems especially... I don't particularily like to talk about that kind of stuff. I feel like I am stuck in the cave that you just pulled yourself out of. Any tips?
    It's really dark in here.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You should call me sometime.

    Not because I can give advice, no. I'm actually not gonna pick up the phone.

    The reason is my ringback (a song instead of the 'ring ring' you hear when you call someone) is 'Larger Than Life.'

    Which means, technically, calling me WILL cheer you up.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Good to see the blog reboot. It can help lower stress to have somewhere to put down your thoughts.

    One week and I'll have my theatre semester done. Then I'll make time to read articles I've been bookmarking, like this one on procrastination and perfectionism being linked: http://bit.ly/hDEgkx

    Sometimes we all need some space. Sometimes people chose to disappear because they feel it's necessary. Sometimes people don't want to be part of your life anymore. And you can focus on that but I think it just makes you bitter. Better to focus on people who want to make time for you in their lives.

    Sucker Punch is a beautifully tragic movie, by the way.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love reading your blog a lot, I love the style of your writing, I love the things you write, I love you <3
    hope you can find time to update more often :-)

    ReplyDelete

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