POON Classics: The Greatest Experiment Known to Man

I know, some of you are wondering "what happened to the POON club on Facebook?"

And when I say some, I mean, an Asian girl.

And as my girlfriend will tell you, I only aim to please Asian girls.

In order to keep some semblance of regularity to the POON blog, I'm going to start posting 'POON Classics,' essentially highlighting the great moments from my blogging history.

http://howmanycharacterscaniuse.spaces.live.com/?_c11_BlogPart_BlogPart=blogview&_c=BlogPart&partqs=amonth%3D11%26ayear%3D2005

... was the first arc of my ill fated 'Dissonance Connection' blog, which had a steady readership, until I stopped updated (sound familiar?).

Let it not be in vain.

I'll be re releasing these posts will ALL NEW FOR 2008 BRAND NEW CONTENT!!! Just like Star Wars, only with more Wookies!!!!!

Back before the Dissonance connection ended, I had one die hard fan. I hope he's still here to post regularly. As I expect all of you to. Or else the blog dies. Again.

Not that you care.

^-_-^

And for a little trivia, I had a buddy who actually skipped class to read every single segment of this blog, finding it so interesting he would gamble his medical school career on it.

Please love my writing. It compensates for my penis size. '

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Yes, I realize I haven't updated my blog in months. I'm currently working on 'www.doyoubelieve.ca' which can be used to keep you updated on my daily exploits of madness and debauchery. And um, Pokémon. Minus the debauchery... and Pokémon...

I will be using this space to keep you updated on a personal endeavor I will be undertaking. I call it 'Project David Doesn't Sleep.'

Recently, in my Physiological Psychology class, in between lessons of humility, I found out that Leonardo da Vinci had slept fifteen minutes every four hours, totaling one and a half hours of sleep a day. This led me to consider - why is it a short nap leaves me more refreshed than the eleven hour blackout I have immediately following midterms. If the second greatest Ninja Turtle can operate on little sleep, then certainly the all-powerful David-Man Poon can simply SURVIVE it.

Hold me.

According to my textbook, numerous studies have shown that roughly two weeks are necessary for the body to adapt to a polyphasic sleep schedule (multiple sleeps per day). Over the next three weeks, I will embark on a journey ridden with peril and nightmare, both in the bed and out. Those not of the faint heart can witness my slow transformation from David Poon to man in this journal chronicling this daring procedure. And those who fear for my life, do so - I may not come back from this one.

The plan is as follows:


1. Have three sets of wakefulness, lasting seven hours long, with three, one hour naps between. This will total three hours of sleep a day, at least until I get used to the setup. The hours of alertness are: 23:00-06:00, 07:00-14:00, and 15:00 - 22:00
2. Keep a fridge fully stocked with Full Throttle, No Rush, and Mint Java-Chip Frappachinos. Red Bull sucks.
3. Lose ten pounds. I figure if I'm going to be awake, I might as well exersize.

While I'm at it, throw in a few girls and we'll call it the greatest three weeks of my life.

There's more to this ridiculous journey than meets the eye. In four weeks, finals season begins. If I am unable to successfully complete my mission and convert to a polyphasic sleep schedule, I will most surely perish at the hands of first year computer science. Should I realize my goal, I will have more time than any other mortal to cram. The stakes high, the rewards extraordinary, and the logic nonexistent - it begins.

Believe.

- David

If I start crying uncontrollably, don't touch me - I may asplode your mind with my psychic powers.


And the original comments posted:

--Just_Ducky--
omy I finally got to reading your blog and I have to say that is a worth goal! I commend you for it - please ignore me if I start laughing at you troubles involving lack of sleep. I doubt I'll be able to help myself.
November 13 11:44:41 PM

Aubrey
Oh boy.... Didn't Kramer from Seinfeld try this? Wasn't there some form of disasterous result?? Will you be answering your phone Vandelay industries as well?? Sorry. I support you to some extent. I really do. Just don't get sick or anything. Because theres no use making your life miserable to impress Leonardo DiVinci. Michelangelo was always the cool one anyways. It was the nunchucks. Cowabunga Poon! Aubs
November 07 8:59:12 PM